I'll never know what made you smile yesterday.
I'll never understand where your fears rooted from, and who kept them watered all these years.
I'll never see what you looked like at age seventeen and how you treated that one girl who was nervous.
I'll never be able to hold you the first time you cried, to tell you that it will be alright and then be there to watch time make it alright.
I'll never feel the scruff of your facial hair against my skin during that phase you had.
I'll never memorize the look on your face when your favorite team won that game you still talk about today.
Even though it is all in the past, and it is all gone, it all added up to the man I love now.
And I'll never know.