Your Rules

Don’t be annoyed when I say things you don’t like

And also like the things I say 

Don’t be uncomfortable with people who do inappropriate things

Be fine with things I wouldn’t be fine if it was you

Don’t be mad at me when I lie 

Remember every time I lie it’s because you made me

Be cool with me doing what I want when I want without telling you 
And don’t ask any questions

Remember I don’t have to tell you anything
Make sure not to make things about you when I upset you 

Don’t forget to do the things I say 

But remember I’m busier than you when you ask anything of me 

Don’t cry when I upset you

In fact, stop getting upset completely 

Trust me blindly despite me breaking your trust in the past 

Don’t feel too much 

Don’t feel at all if possible 

The Bad Guy

It’s me

I’m always the problem 

I’m the villain 

I’m the one in the wrong

While she remains blameless

While she is the innocent victim 

Who can do no wrong

Who has been attacked 

By horrible me

Oh I just have so much hate 

Right? That’s what you think 

It’s so like me to hate isn’t it 

You never think to look at her 

It’s always me who has to change

Me who has to be yelled at

But her?

No god no she doesn’t have to change a single thing  

She’s done nothing wrong 

Cracking Heart

A simple I miss you.

To remind me I’m in your heart and on your mind

That’s what I need

But that makes me

Needy 

What breaks my heart 

Is that I don’t desire 

Gifts or extravagent displays of love

Just an 

I miss you 

Or 

I love you 

Without me saying it first 

Just that

And I can’t even get that

I can’t even get that  

Somedays Are Harder Than Others

I used to share everything and anything with you
by just turning my head
you were there.
Now I have to choose what is worth sharing with you
in the limited time
I have your attention.

Lies Lies Lies

I have reached the point where

I don't panic to decide what I know

to be true or not anymore.

I know you.

You lie.

And I have lied

to myself

coming up with excuses

for you. 

Now the lies numb me.

Your lies and I, we are acquaintances. 

What haunts me is that you love me,

that is not a lie.

But how can you lie to the ones you

love?

The Choice is Made

I thought after all this time, after all these tears
You'd put an end to my suffering, an end to my fears
                                                                                             

But it seems her place in your life has become
more important than the heart of someone you love

Last Save

I didn't save

So every time I fall

I'm starting from the 

Beginning.

Every.

Time.

Not Enough

I try and I try and I try and I try
but why?
Why do I try so hard when you chose to focus on
the one time I fail.
You don't want me to fake it
You want me to be honest,
unless that honesty is not something you like.
I have tried and tried to be what you want
while still being myself.
Maybe its time to
be someone else.

anxiety

My eyes are heavy
I just want to sleep
I don't exercise
but my mind stays running
I feel sick
to the point where food
is repulsive
I feel my world falling down on me
and all I want to do
is escape
Have I always been like this
This is no unfamiliar feeling
I am crippled by my mind
as you watch
holding
my crutches