you did this to me.

she nags. he complains. she knows exactly what to say. to make him not himself. not my dad.

he screams at her, she screams at him. they yell, in unison. he lifts his hand. i close my eyes. i open. she's crying. now i'm crying.

he screams at her, she screams at him. they yell, in unison. he lifts his fist. i close my door. i close my ears. hole in the wall.

he screams at her, she screams at him. they yell, in unison. he lifts his voice. louder. i lock my door. put my headphones in. in the corner.

he screams at her, she screams at him. they yell, in unison. he lifts my love and throws it out. tells her he never loved her. tells her he regrets being with her. i listen. 

i leave.


he screams at her, she screams at him. they yell, in unison. he lifts his hand. i close my eyes. i open. i am in bed. alone. now i'm crying.

1000 miles away.

you still don't see.

what you did to me.

Hello. Again.

you always find your way to me.

you always come back when I push you away.

you sneak in, unexpected.

unwanted.

But I always welcome you.

dear friend. 

how have you been?

stay as long as you'd like.

I miss you when you leave.

Bad company is better than 

none. 

hourglass

the words you say
don't feel the same
the looks i give
are not the same looks
what if my eyes
were always shut
what if they're finally open
wait.
what if they're just closed
temporarily
he says
she says
heart knows.

How do you ask for help when the blood screams no? 

I can't find a way out, I barely have time to look. 

 A paper cut accident, I never felt more alive. 

You said I'd be okay, you said I'd be alright. 

I understand, I was hoping for the same.