No one is as hot as the Sun

You let someone think
they mattered to you
You let someone think
you wanted them
more than me
You let someone think they
were worth risking us for
You let someone think
they were better than me
You let dirt
think it was better than the sun
When they aren't even in the same
category
You gave them my time
You gave them my attention
You showed them things only I should see
And they showed you things that made me
hate you
You made me feel like nothing
when I am the sun
I am the sun
I am the sun

Never

You will never know what this feels like
You will never know how hard you broke me
You will never know the pain every time I know you see her
You will never know the damage you did
Because I would never do anything like this to you
Because you don't hurt the people you love

Here's to Your Comeback

Loving you has shown me unconditional love
I feel it when I'm crying my eyes dry
When I am biting my tongue
When you frustrate me to silence
When you have broken me to the core
Despite it all, my love for you knows
you can be better.
It knows the love you are capable of giving.
It knows that you are human and you will fail,
But more importantly, my love knows you will
prevail.

you can hurt me baby

you can hurt me baby
God knows you have
and you can break me baby
I know you can
but you should know
no matter what you do
no matter if I stay
or if I go
you will always have my heart,
whole or in pieces
your being is burned in my soul
and your love is the reason

Meant Nothing

Forgive me if it takes me a while to believe that she meant nothing 

Because right now it’s taking some time to believe that I mean something 

Unreasonable

Unreasonable
I’m unreasonable
You are trying so hard
And I’m being unreasonable
I’m unreasonable and
You feel like what you’re doing is more than enough
But do you know what’s unreasonable?
The strength I have to have every minute of the day
to not breakdown
That the pictures and the words I saw are scorched in my mind
That you could even entertain the idea of exposing yourself to another woman
That I wasn’t enough for you
Imagine living with that
Imagine going to sleep alone with that every night
But no. I’m unreasonable
Sorry. I'll try to make all this more reasonable
for you.

Herherherher

All these words

All these thoughts
All these worries

That you told me 

Were wrong 

Were crazy 

Were driving you mad

All these posts I wrote about her

All the guilt you made me feel

All the hell I put myself through

For being so cruel

To innocent you

Who just wanted an 

Innocent friend. 

How do you make it look so easy to hurt someone 

Who would and has done anything for you?

You made it look effortless, watching me struggle and fall apart as you

Grew closer to someone you shouldn’t have been growing with at all 

where do we go from here

You made me question us
A question I never thought needed to be asked
And now I have to wonder
And worry about if what you did
Is bigger than what
We are

But now I’m not sure of what we are
I thought I knew
But clearly you were under
Some other impression
Some other notion
Where hurting the one you love
Is what we are

Your Rules

Don’t be annoyed when I say things you don’t like

And also like the things I say 

Don’t be uncomfortable with people who do inappropriate things

Be fine with things I wouldn’t be fine if it was you

Don’t be mad at me when I lie 

Remember every time I lie it’s because you made me

Be cool with me doing what I want when I want without telling you 
And don’t ask any questions

Remember I don’t have to tell you anything
Make sure not to make things about you when I upset you 

Don’t forget to do the things I say 

But remember I’m busier than you when you ask anything of me 

Don’t cry when I upset you

In fact, stop getting upset completely 

Trust me blindly despite me breaking your trust in the past 

Don’t feel too much 

Don’t feel at all if possible 

The Bad Guy

It’s me

I’m always the problem 

I’m the villain 

I’m the one in the wrong

While she remains blameless

While she is the innocent victim 

Who can do no wrong

Who has been attacked 

By horrible me

Oh I just have so much hate 

Right? That’s what you think 

It’s so like me to hate isn’t it 

You never think to look at her 

It’s always me who has to change

Me who has to be yelled at

But her?

No god no she doesn’t have to change a single thing  

She’s done nothing wrong