Meant Nothing

Forgive me if it takes me a while to believe that she meant nothing 

Because right now it’s taking some time to believe that I mean something 

Unreasonable

Unreasonable
I’m unreasonable
You are trying so hard
And I’m being unreasonable
I’m unreasonable and
You feel like what you’re doing is more than enough
But do you know what’s unreasonable?
The strength I have to have every minute of the day
to not breakdown
That the pictures and the words I saw are scorched in my mind
That you could even entertain the idea of exposing yourself to another woman
That I wasn’t enough for you
Imagine living with that
Imagine going to sleep alone with that every night
But no. I’m unreasonable
Sorry. I'll try to make all this more reasonable
for you.

Herherherher

All these words

All these thoughts
All these worries

That you told me 

Were wrong 

Were crazy 

Were driving you mad

All these posts I wrote about her

All the guilt you made me feel

All the hell I put myself through

For being so cruel

To innocent you

Who just wanted an 

Innocent friend. 

How do you make it look so easy to hurt someone 

Who would and has done anything for you?

You made it look effortless, watching me struggle and fall apart as you

Grew closer to someone you shouldn’t have been growing with at all 

where do we go from here

You made me question us
A question I never thought needed to be asked
And now I have to wonder
And worry about if what you did
Is bigger than what
We are

But now I’m not sure of what we are
I thought I knew
But clearly you were under
Some other impression
Some other notion
Where hurting the one you love
Is what we are